I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope

I survived my first day in New York... in case you were worried. It was a bit roller coaster-esque with me having numerous internal freak-outs, to the point where I probably exhausted all my last reserves and eventually passed out in a cab ride into Manhattan--note I absolutely cannot afford cabs, I am no Carrie Bradshaw--yet, but seeing as I packed six heaping bags of pure essentials, the subway was ruled out. Apparently it alarmed the cab driver as he immediately asked,

"Ma'am, ma'am, are you all right?"

Don't people do worse things in cabs out here? My face was rather flushed, I will admit, probably from all my dips and dives of emotion, so maybe he assumed I'd died. Nope, sir, still very much alive, though you keep driving like you are and it is questionable whether I live to see tomorrow, I thought, as I buckled up.

I realized, for all my saying I am ready to struggle, New York and struggle go hand in hand, it's the starving artist's way, I was a bit miffed with my first interaction with a somewhat brusque New York landlord telling me the what's what of renting here in the big apple. Okay, okay, I get it, New York is no Marquette, MI. Noted. For all my independent ferocity, I didn't like his insinuating I couldn't hack it on my own.
I know on my own, sir. Puh-lease. You don't scare me.
K, you actually do scare me, hence why I am not renting from you.

But after the initial panic of okay, this is definitely, for serious, big girl time, I bucked up and feverishly attacked my NY game plan. I did look at an apartment, which was a dream. Oh gosh. Everything I have envisioned a New York apartment to be and then some. It even had pink mermaids etched onto the bathtub sliding doors. The booking agent who was showing me the apartment said the landlord would remove them, but upon seeing my hand whip to my chest and my jaw drop in horror at the idea, she backtracked and told me if I liked them they could stay. Of course the mermaids stay!
And outdated 50's style appliances? Yes and my heart be still.
Hardwood floors? Mmhmm.
Wood paneled cupboards circa 1972? Yup.

It was love at first sight! Right by Ditmars Blvd and handily by my favorite restaurant in Astoria. So, in short, needs to be mine. But like any great love story, a dragon needs to be slain first, before you get your one and only. Of course it wasn't as easy as I'll take it, where do I sign? No, no. While I would have welcomed that, it was not what I anticipated, so when I was told about the extra $1850 to pay Ms. Booking Agent and the fact that because I am jobless I WILL need a cosigner, I merely nodded, while plotting my next move.

Two somewhat major league problems, but as if I haven't tackled worse? No worries, no fretting, I got this. Or if I don't, I find another magical mermaid apartment. I am resilient. Though, I really fancy myself in that one. I have already pictured myself hosting dinner parties there. My aprons would so match the kitchen!

Other noteworthies: I made my first new, New York friend! And went out for coffee. Yes, of course I had time for that. Coffee and friendship, duh--of utmost import. And I had a most sensational lunch special at Ovelia, all by my hip self. I sat next to the the open patio so I could feel the New York breeze on my face and bask in the sunshine. I wrote and relaxed after my apartment viewing high. It was perfect. And they had a delightful mess-up and gave me fries instead of a side salad, and lack-of-self-control me, made the mistake of trying one before saying anything and oh boy--there was no going back. Hands down, best french fry I have ever tasted. They didn't even need ketchup, people. Oy!

And after my coffee date with my lovely curly-haired comrade, I waited outside near Times Square for my other friend that I will be bunking with to fetch me. As distracted as I was all day by tackling my to-do's, I was struck over and over again by New York splendor and again it hit me. I looked at the sky in front of me not thinking at all, and upon seeing rows of looming buildings, lights and action, I was breathless. You are here. Really here. And don't for a second diminish how profound that is, my inner fighter thought.

So, here I am.

Day two. Brooklyn. Look out.