Friday, March 26, 2010
up, up, up
I have this weird thing with the number three. I find that more often than not a lot of good things come in threes. I take signs very literally if I've had three of them. And then there's all these big to-do's about the number three. There's the Holy Trinity: Father, Son, Holy Spirit; an excellent, yet reassuring power of three. Or how about third time's the charm, or one of my favorite things, baseball-three strikes you're out.
But then I've also found that if three's can come in pleasant packaging, they can also come along dressed like the grim reaper. Those dastardly threes like the Bermuda Triangle. Now that's a triangle not even mathematicians can appreciate. And that's when the number three just plain old roasts my toast, because as I can't help but fear, once one bad thing happens, I start looking over my shoulder for what's inevitably two more doosies of despair.
This mentality may not serve me well if I am always on my toes waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I just can't fight history. And if I know anything about history, it's that it repeats itself. So it came as no surprise to me yesterday morning when I got a rather unwelcome reminder about a certain bill I've been trying to tackle that this wouldn't be where it ended. This put me on edge for the better part of the day and as I was driving home in a slight panic about my finances, I thought, okay, deal with this. It's just one thing. You can handle this one minor mishap. Yes, it started as one, but I had a sinking feeling that it wasn't going to end there.
Sure enough. As I was being a mature and responsible adult and penning a handy bill chart detailing how many different ways I can be broke throughout any given month, I got a phone call from my mother explaining that the very large sum of money she had previously told me I was getting from my taxes, was actually going to be a lot, lot less. Taking note from my mature handling of the previous bad news, I did what I do best in a sticky situation. I began sobbing and spewing claims that I would drown in debt and this was so typical, or oh I'll be fine, I'm just going to HANG myself! Yes, like I said, really mature.
When I finally got a hold of myself yet again, and went through my mental checklist of why being optimistic about my future is really the best route to take, I got yet another phone call from my sister explaining that she might need some of that money back that I had borrowed from her to make a car payment when I didn't have a job. (And yes I was planning on paying her back... when I got that really huge tax refund, that turned into a really paltry pittance)
And that my friends makes three (bits of crappy financial news that is). My mind started spasming with possible solutions, little neurons zinging and pinging around desperately in my brain to figure out where all this magical money was going to come from (surely my measly paycheck can't foot all these bills--no matter how many times I re-do the math).
I briefly considered becoming a phone-sex operator, but my morals got in the way. I thought about hopping the next train out of here and changing my name to Dimitri VanHeuson and working as a waitress in some small town in Alaska, where obviously no debt could find me.
But then reality sunk in and I realized these small, yet simple facts. Believing in yourself will always get you through. And having some really great helping hands once in awhile doesn't hurt either.
I have always had a sense deep down in my core that great things are headed my way and if I just ride out the bad, like this particularly nasty period of destitution, I will come out of it a better and maybe even wiser person.
Yes, I know I will. I will write best-sellers, go on book tours and fly my family to Italy to try the best pizza with my top-notch income. I will most certainly pay off all my bills before I'm dead. And I will help all those who have helped me along the way (like some promised designer bags for a certain best friend). My ship will come in. Why so certain you might wonder?
Because as much as I'd like to believe the number three is a total wang for turning on me every once in awhile, bringing me misfortune instead of fame, like I said before, more often than not I find the good in the number three and all she can do for me. And I think you need to look at life in the exact same way.