Monday, January 11, 2010
Not in Kansas anymore...
In the blink of an eye I went from stomping my feet and complaining about wanting a life of my own, a chance to really spread my wings and see what the world has to offer me and now that I'm getting a chance to try, I am scared senseless. I am no longer a Michigan girl. Actually no, take those words back. This girl is smitten with the mitten and always will be. Wisconsin can never claim me. However, in all honesty I am excited to be here. Being me and my love of all things adventure I am embracing this newness and the possibilities unfolding before me, even if they weren't the possibilities I would've picked, they can still work right? I am deeply distraught sometimes when I contemplate if I can handle this huge start-over. But isn't life made of lots of those? I graduated from high school and moved to college which was new and daunting and I made it through. And somehow I'm doing it again, except this time I really don't know what to expect. There's no curriculum or set time-frame on how my life will pan out or what I should get out of it. I feel like after I graduated from high school I had these huge life expectations that went something like this:
go to college, meet a boy, fall in love, get married, have fabulous career, magical bliss!
And instead it went something like this: went to college, learned a whole lot more about myself than I ever knew, met people who would inevitably change my life in the most meaningful of ways, and then people who hurt me, let me down, betrayed me, but there were those standing in the wings to pick me back up and dust me off, reminding me that unwavering love isn't only found in the romance aisles, and of course I did meet boys, I did fall in love, I realized it's not as easy and as black and white as I always thought, and even the most remarkable plans you have for yourself aren't the same plans that God in fact has in store for you and maybe you should've trusted His judgment all along.
The funny thing about growing up is it's not what you expected it to be. I wrote a letter to myself in the 8th grade and I thought the 22yr old me would be an interior designer married to Joel Wisuri. And back then, this seemed like the most magnificent plan for my life. I couldn't imagine it any other way. But then again, I also couldn't imagine that would I would learn most from my gazillion dollar college tuition is that college still doesn't even prepare you for the real world. I'm not sure anything really does.
So, although I'm not armed with Dorothy's ruby slipper's, I have to say, I am going to brave this new path, because I know it'll take me where I need to go.